I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
