So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
