I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have aggressive nipples.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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