i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
