he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
