My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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