Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We need to rekindle our bromance
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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