did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
