I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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