He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
