U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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