Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
either way he was missing a nipple.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
