The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
