we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
