im six kinds of drunk right now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
