Having a random hookup so left but love u
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i will never coherently bang her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
