youre lurking in front of me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
