Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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