you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
how drunk are you?
Several
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize