Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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