So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
