i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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