how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
