the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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