At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
how does that bad decision feel?
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