The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
