Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
