I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
