dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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