3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
