He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
