you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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