Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
