took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
