We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
