Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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