why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
