So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
