So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
