do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
