are you so shy because you have an std?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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