If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize