I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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