I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sext me about skeletons
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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