Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
time to smoke my breakfast
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
