if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
