anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
