this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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