I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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