Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
