You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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