This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
