Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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