whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
