If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
