so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
