i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
