Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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