I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
