fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just high enough for therapy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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